rad like that
i dont have much to say. but i think it would be good if some holy santos brought to the high school to guard the hallway and bring us good luck. if you vote for me, all of your wildest dreams will come true. Thank you.
did good on my ap exam today, felt good to know what i was doing
i really hate that all of my friends drive nice cars and get full tanks of gas on their parents debit cards and dont have to worry about scraping the bottom of their hamper for quarters just to get to work or school. i hate that i cant even drive my “car” because my dad doesnt have one anymore. i hate that i have to walk around with this cracked phone i can barely see while my brother has a blackberry and everyone else has an iphone. i hate that when i bring up the sat with my mom she goes “do you really have to take that this time?” i hate that i cant eat lunch. i hate that i owe both dance and glass theatre money and there is practically nothing i can do about it. i really hate that my boyfriend is making me buy my own prom ticket…i hate that i cant go to celebration and buy a three hundred dollar prom dress and shoes and do my hair and get my nails done. i really hate being petty and asking people for money or trying not to be ashamed when i cant do something with my friends because i cant afford to go do it. i hate that my dad owes me 12 bucks and that he drives around and smokes cigarettes in “my” car. i hate that i cant buy some barrons or princetons ap study books or take sat prep with my math teacher. i hate that if i want to go out on a friday night, i have to save up ten dollars and make a huge plan for it through the week. i hate walking into school with my hair up all the time because i dont have shampoo.
i may seem like im different and im fine with that, but really, i just want to be like everyone else. i dont want to feel uncomfortable and on edge all the time because i dont have money and i dont really fit in with other people that im on the same intelligence level with. i just want to be normal and pretty and have an iphone and a camelbak water bottle that i didnt steal and be able to go to starbucks and not walking around and feel so guilty all the time for wanting things that other people have and i feel like i deserve.
